KissHeartLove
I had this dream about John Green, and I felt the need to facebook message him my dream.

I’m not sure if you get messages from just anyone on facebook, and if you do, I’m not sure if you take the time to read them. I never really write messages to well known (whom I consider famous, such as yourself) people in this fashion, but I have his urge to tell you about a strange, yet interesting (which could be debated) dream I had about you. Now, as a precursor, I promise you didn’t do anything weird - it was the other people who did weird things. Let me explain. I had this dream where you visited my small, uneventful Canadian hometown on a whim. You had set up a signing booth outside of a gas station, because you thought the houses in the area looked “like gingerbread houses” and continued to set up a signing table. The news of your arrival spread like wildfire, and all kinds of individuals from the surrounding towns came to see you specifically. Most girls were screaming as if seeing Justin Beiber to which I remember you commenting to one of your staff, “I’m pretty sure I’m not who they think I am…” Suddenly, as if a mute racing gun popped off into the sky, the swarm of people started to head towards you. Like a doe caught in headlights, you eyes went wide, you turned on the ball of your heel, and sped-walked away immediately. You walked behind the gas station, where 7 people came running out in blue ponchos with letters on them. Each person wore one letter of “Z-O-M-B-I-E-S”. They dispersed the heard of people, marking them with blue paint as if to say that those individuals are now zombies. People were dumbfounded, and looked around in a daze. Your voice came over a speaker phone and you simply said, “This is why I hate large crowd. The zombie apocalypse can be easily started, and the fate of the world can quickly end.” It was as if your words had lifted a curse among the crowd, and they all walked home, or to their cars to drive home. I just stood on the sidelines, and watched people in shock as they all just left as if nothing happened. I saw you poke your head around the gas station corner as the majority of people left, and felt comfortable enough to come back around. I waited for a calmer time to approach you, and when I did, I greeted you with a handshake and an apology. I said, “I’m sorry for the crowd, they just materialized out of thin air.” and you replied “That’s fine, according to Hank we’re all made out of matter. I’m inclined to argue him, but I won’t because I don’t host Sci Show. This is the prime reason, however, I’m probably not allowed back in Canada. I didn’t have enough money to throw at the crowd like in Assassin’s Creed, so I improvised a little. Needless to say, the job worked.” I agreed, I asked you to sign all of the copies (which is just one of each of the 5) of the books I have by you, and we both continued on our day. I think the moral of my dream is to have a group of people in blue ponchos with “Z-O-M-B-I-E-S” on them to defuse a crowd in a hurry. I hope my dream was entertaining at the least, and you’re not afraid of getting facebook messages from fans and Nerdfighters. DFTBA, I hope you read this during the day, and stay awesome :) 

My Dad is funny. Just some context: I don’t live with my parents, I rent a basement apartment under a lovely family, and I just got off my first shift at a new job.
These are actual texts, and he has a blackberry so keyboard is tight.
I’m also hungry and want pasta.

gurry:

Aren’t we all internet explorers?

Get the fuck out.

youbetter-runlike-thedevil:

stormpooper:

zooeyclairedeschanel:

stop saying i can’t even and start saying i can even

believe in urself

image

is that a lawn mower flying

no, it’s a lawn mower following its dreams

wurnbo:

how to get out of bed

  • wake up
  • no
  • go back to sleep

whateverhumans:

rootbeef:

gangstamickey:

being hot but also feeling like you need something over your legs

image

being hot but also being unable to sleep without a blanket

image

being hot

image 

cancune:

if a guy stares at ur boobs 

just stare at his dick

maybe squint a little bit

Television: In the criminal justice system--
Me: SEXUALLY-BASED OFFENSES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS FELONIES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. DUN DUN.
To the tune of This Old Man

I hate her!

I hate her!

I really hate her so fucking much

and I don’t really get why they’re even talking

I just really want her dead.

I hate her!

I hate her!

Why can’t she just leave him alone?

'Cause she's a slutty bitch 

with no Per-son-al-ity!

I just really want her gone.

I hate her!

I hate her!

I just hate her fucking face!

And if I had the chance 

I’d beat her face in!

I just really want her gone.

If I could

Perform Magic

I would make her real life havoc

and I’d make sure I’d do a disappearing trick

so she’d never bother us again!

I’ve read the whole thing, and I think both of these idiots are wrong. Both only make about 1 point each - and nothing else. It’s basically a conversation between a guy (who kind of has the right idea) and a girl (whos just a total paranoid idiot). 

The guy makes the argument of: “you won’t get raped if you don’t dress like you want it” and then turns it into “once you pay 50/50 for a meal, then you can get equality” followed by “you’re just a troll.”

The girl makes the argument of: “all men think about and want is sex and rape happens all the time because men are pigs.” and then it turns into “girls go to the bar, and they get drugged by alcohol and the men rape her”  followed by “society tells girls that they’re just fuckable objects.”

I think these people are both idiots. 

1) the “dont dress like you want it” thing, is complete bullshit - and I hope to god it was a “joke” and a bad one at that. Sure there are girls who dress “slutty” but that doesn’t mean they want to get raped. At that point, the person doing the rape is just an asshole prick who deserves to die and get raped themselves in jail. The way you dress shouldn’t be a mutual invite for sex.

2) paying 50/50 for a meal is irrelevant. The guy either pays for the meal out of manners and good taste, or the girl pays for the meal for the same reason. Most people I know would still offer to pay for their half of the meal - some people refuse their offer, and others accept. It really depends on what you’re looking for in a date. As a general statement, you’re a fucking idiot.

3) Just because you go to the bar, and you get drunk and have sex with someone you met at the bar, does not label you as “slutty”, “whore”, or “stallion” or “raped”. Under the influence or not, there was an acceptance for sex and if you REALLY didn’t want it, somewhere along the line, there would have been a “No.” If you do the walk of shame the next day, then that’s not a reason to cry “rape” after you said “yes”. The guy does make one good point: You’re ruining the other person’s life the minute you blow that whistle - especially if they didn’t deserve it, and you consented. 

4) Sure, there are probably a small population of men who think about sex a lot. But not every single guy you meet is going to be like “I’m going to rape you, I want to have sex with you regardless” Gentlemen still do exist. If they thought about sex a lot, they would either go to a brothel, masturbate 24/7 or go on Chat Roulette. If they wanted to run the risk of something else, they would pay for a prostitute. 

5) A feminist’s argument cannot solely rely on the “rape” argument. There really isn’t much of an argument left in the 21st century (in my opinion). There are some old fashioned individuals - if you will - that will be sexist. Girls can be sexist towards men - and I’m willing to wager it’s probably just as much as men are to women. Sexism can be dulled by education and upbringing and belief. If you belief that a women is only good for sex, cleaning and cooking, then you’re a sexist bastard. If you think all men are coming after women for sex, will stop women from progressing in society, and want to rape you 24/7, you’re a sexist bitch who doesn’t have a clear argument like the men do. The nice thing about having a mind of free-will, is that you can change your believes by educating yourself. I’m a woman, and I have rights just like the men do. I can get married, get a divorce, go to school, hold a job, vote, be seen in public, not be seen as property and actually be able to be a human being. Everyone has those rights. 

6) Society and media have really bad reps for, I guess lack of a better term as of now, sexualizing women. But keep in mind, men have those pressures too. They need to have 6-packs, rippling muscles, great personality, rich, well sustaining job, have little to no interaction with their children, play several sports at once, be “every woman’s hero” and “hunky”. Well, what about the men who don’t fit into that stereotype? The girl admitted she sleeps with people she deems attractive - and I’m willing to wager it’s based off of society’s idea of “attractive” for men. She wants to bitch about how girls need to wear make up, be thin, tall, under paid, motherly, maid, a sexual object. To be honest, men are viewed as sexual objects if they meet the status-quo just like girls “have to” meet that as well. 

My point is, both of these people make small glimmers of interesting points, but fail to actually back up their shit. Women are pretty much equal - if not completely equal (give or take a few minor things). If feminists like this are actually out there, and they lead a ring of blind hatred and paranoia, they’re going to be sexist bitches and push men down in the dumps. Does it need to me a man’s world? Does it need to be a woman’s world? It just needs to be a livable world in my opinion. It’s paranoid, sexist pricks (men and women alike) that grind my gears. If people were really for equality, they wouldn’t throw petty shit like this entire conversation in someone’s face just to “prove a point” or be “superior”. 

karinwolfe:

fishingboatproceeds:

bookbending:

Maybe opinion isn’t the best word to go with unbiased. Style overview, maybe?

Teens don’t sound like that; we get that road trips are a metaphor for adolescence; manic pixie dream girls (or boy); they’re all the same; teenagers…

Can I just say, I think it’s hilariously funny when John says that teenagers aren’t as smart as he makes them seem? Honestly. I’ve met a lot of stupid teenagers both in real life and online - and there are a lot of them. Maybe it’s just the way I define “stupid”, but for every 2-3 stupid teenagers, I meet about 1-2 intelligent teenagers. I know - or at least hope for some stupid teenagers - that they’ll grow out of their phase of “YOLO” or under-aged smoking or drinking, partying like it’s the early 2000’s (because they were born mid 90’s so they can’t say “party like it’s 1999”) and actually grab a hold of their life. Some teenagers are intelligent - they ask questions and explore possible answers all the time. I was probably defined as a stupid teenager to someone, but I was also probably defined as a smart teenager too. I’m not saying all stupid teens do what I suggested/generalized above, but those are the kind of teens I’ve ran into that I’ve actually paused and shook my head at them and asked “Are you fucking serious?”

I like John Green’s books because even though he writes about smart teens, they do some pretty stupid shit. Example: Alaska running off to drive a car while shes drunk (spoiler alert). The entire LfA gang pulling off a prank and then running like hell through the woods, Pudge’s initiation to the school (being tied up and covered in feathers and put out by the river/stream in the back of the school in the woods). [Side note: I only have read LfA and TFiOS, I have the other 3 but I have to finish reading another book before I can pick up the others, sorry my examples are only LfA related.] For smart teens, they did some stupid shit. I think that’s how most stupid teens are - they’re smart in their own way but just do a lot of stupid shit because they can, and they want to have fun. Maybe some of them are curious about things, and maybe some people aren’t. I’m willing to bet that some of the stupid teens I’ve met (50/50) are genuinely smart - they just act stupid because they need a release of stress. Others - probably just naive and want to be hipster and use “YOLO” as a reason to date someone they’re not sure they want to date. It’s those teens that aggravate me. (Real example about the YOLO thing though. I almost punched her.)

As far as “the internet is the only reason his books are successful” I must say, I kind of buy into that - but I don’t 100% agree. I’m a Nerdfighter - and I have a hard time finding books I’m interested in. I’m a picky reader - if you will. There’s only been a few books in my life where I’ve read it in under a week. On average, it takes me about a year to read a book (because I put it down and then don’t pick it up until like a few months later and read it again - but I still know where I am in the book amazingly.) I’ll be honest, I may have overlooked some of John’s books if I wasn’t a Nerdfighter. But because I was hooked with LfA, I was curious if his other books were just as amazing - and I still have yet to find out. I know most of the spoilers, but that makes me want to connect the dots through reading it myself. There were lots of great conversation in Vlogbrother videos about his books when they came out - and those also spiked my interest into reading them. So yea, I’d say - for me at least - without conversations over the internet or finding such an amazing community like Nerdfighteria, I probably would have read over his books. That’s not to say I would have never read them, (although that’s about 50/50) but I would have given them a chance if I heard good things through word of mouth and not a huge anti-fan base about how stupid the book was *coughtwilightcough* 

These are just my opinions. If you want a good book of smart teens doing the occasional stupid thing(s), deeper meaning metaphor, comedy, emotionally charged ride - John does a very scary job of recreating the hardships that teenagers go through - literally an emotional rollercoaster. If his books had hormones, holy mother of God, they would be almost bipolar! Which - I’m pretty sure is a phase all teens go through without being diagnosed. And hey - I’d rather read a book from an author I admire, and one who can make fun of himself - then turn around and be like “Seriously? I’ve got to explain shit now? Come on guys.” and do it in a very professional and adult manner - I’ll add. 

John, if you read this, 

DFTBA, Best Wishes, and keep being you - you’re an inspiration the way you are. 

extr4ordinary:

favorite picture omg i love it 

extr4ordinary:

favorite picture omg i love it 

anelle-asian17:

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Via/Follow The Absolute Greatest Posts…ever.

What happened to him anyways feel like he the only one not doing anything

Steven has his own show now.